This is a quite important subject to me, especially upon the realisation of how little people know about authoritarian behaviour. We are taught it since we’re little babies. It is not easy to break through from such powerful conditioning, but yet it is the only way to be able to see the ultimate reality. We are so used to authoritarianism that we do not even notice it.
I recently had an online conversation in which I mentioned one guy that was supposed to teach me magick. When I asked them to teach me I meant something like when I asked my grandma how to make pancakes. I didn’t think there was a place for exerting authority in the modern occult world. This assumption was not only incredibly naive but also totally wrong. People hardly know reality without power struggle. All societies are built and shaped by constant fighting to gain dominance and power over the rest. It applies to magickal communities just as much as any other. On the other hand there is total ignorance of the issue at hand. As much as we are taught to fight for our position we are taught blind obedience. We are taught to follow authorities and not to question anything they say. This all was said many times and probably most of you agree. Just to make it clear I do not try to merely make a statement, neither criticise anyone for anything. I write this post because it can illustrate very subtle difference in human behaviour which can prove helpful in recognising authoritarian behaviours in others and avoiding it in ourselves.
Coming back to conversation. I mentioned a statement made by this guy who was teaching me magick which he given in response to my complaint that his behaviour turned authoritarian. Just to give slight background to it. Person in question was not only dishonest with me but they were trying to manipulate me in such a way that I would surrender my self to them and let them control me. I don’t think it was totally conscious on their behalf. I think that is the only behaviour they know so they simply couldn’t do any better. That is the very reason why I confronted them about their behaviour. Just to point it out to them. They response was full of aggression, very judgemental and unfair, expressing total lack of understanding. They simply didn’t want to hear my opinion.
The quote I brought up in mentioned conversation is to me an oxymoron. In my opinion it illustrates how deeply rooted in our minds authoritarian thinking is. This person replied to me in these words:
"I told you to question everything I say!"
The person I had conversation with responded suggesting that I have possibly misunderstood the above sentence. They suggested it was a good thing to say. Bless them for having faith in people. 
I think the quoted sentence is a good example of totally twisted manipulative answer.
In the first place why did the person in question think that they are a in position to ‘tell me’ anything. The form ‘I TOLD YOU to do/not to do something’ is the way a parent speaks to a child, boss to employee or lieutenant to a private. It exerts authority. It is not a way of speaking to a friend or partner. Another point is the intent of this sentence. Why they want me to question what they say? Surely if they’re being honest with others and communicate with them as a friend and equal there is no need to question their words? You would say this if you would think that person you talk to does or should treat you as an authority. In fact this assumption exerts authority or assures it.
And finally the last twist in this example. What this person communicates is self-contradictory and in my opinion an attempt to manipulate. As magicians we all agree it is important to question given information, our own thoughts, ideas. In fact some of us like to think we should be questioning everything. This very attitude of questioning is important in freeing ourselves from authoritarian rule! Yet in a given situation that was what I did. I questioned the behaviour of my ‘tutor’. His response was aggressive and exerting authority. My tutors response was an attempt to regain control over me. Saying ‘I told you to question everything I say’ proves them right and assures their position. I shouldn’t have complained because it is only me to blame. This is a typical response for a ‘control freak’. To bring up such an idea in response to my complaint serves two different purposes. Firstly it is a pretence of open-mindedness. A pretence of advice not to take anything for granted and ask questions to find my own answers. How wise and loving! This would obviously make me feel guilty. How could I have thought so bad of them? They only want the best for me. This guilt trip is something control freaks use a lot. (for more on control freaks go here). Considering my teacher’s behaviour saying ‘question everything I say’ it also make it safer from them to lie to me and mislead me. At the end they can always say:
‘I TOLD you to question everything I SAY’
I hope this was helpful to you and at the end the quote written above has more meaning to you than before. I find that modern culture pays less attention to forms which may be liberating but at the same time distract our attention from the form which in which it express itself in our subconscious. Looking back at the above quotation try to think what it actually expresses. Is this way of speaking respectful, loving or caring. Is it even friendly? I hope you will remember this article next time you find somebodies behaviour confusing or distressing. Summarising I think it is important to never judge others but carefully examine their words and actions. In this way it is much easier to find the inconsistencies that are always there when someone is dishonest.
