After a wonderful first year living together, Lolita Perdurabo and I decided to get engaged for alchemycal wedding. We first announced this engagement to our families whilst visiting Krakow around the Summer Solstice. Here Lolita found my engagement ring, and we held a party with her family. Later I bought her ring in Plymouth when where we held a party with my family. Hopefully we can arrange for both families to meet for the actual wedding.

Also in Krakow we rode on the Balloon they have there. Later here in Bristol we enjoyed watching the balloon fest with a sky full of Balloons, so in our party in Plymouth we included a helium heart balloon as part of the decoration. A couple of weeks later and it still floats and we decided to release it today, at 9 minutes past 9pm BST on the date of 09/09/09. It floated off into the night and became a star!

Well it seems some researchers have found that in some ways lesbians think like heterosexual men, and gay men think like heterosexual women.

Well there is a surprise. Yawn.

Still no mention of where bisexuals and intersex people fit in with this sort of stereotyping. I am highly sceptical of models of sexuality that present a binary either-or cause, for obvious reasons. I still believe that everyone starts off potentially bisexual, although perhaps with some degree of natural bias, probably towards heterosexual relationships in most cases.

It is important to remember that corrolation does not equal causation. Nor does a similarity of hard wiring in the preconditioned brain mean that that similarity is the direct cause of sexuality without social conditioning. For example, that gay men have a similar hardwiring in their brains to women may simply predispose them to finding it difficult to relate to typical manly modes of behaviour and thinking, and thus more identify with feminine. That girls are also conditioned (in general) to be attracted to more manly boys could cause early rejection scenarios that push the individual more towards the homosexual side of their sexuality.

I think this would be an alternative interpretation of these studies. I’m not saying its a true interpretation, just that differences in brain gender do not necessarilly exclude all factors of social conditioning. However, I realise that my interpretation won’t be well loved by those seeking a social explanation (ie those that reject the idea that homosexuality might be ‘natural’), because it suggests that a prime cause of homosexuality is heterosexuality. The more heterosexuality is pushed for as a social ‘norm’, the more those that don’t naturally fit it will be pushed into homosexuality. Conversely, I predict the less heterosexuality is promoted as the only acceptable social norm, the more heterosexual and homosexual people will find that they are actually just at extreme ends of a bisexual spectrum, and that they aren’t quite as polarised as they thought they were.

Of course, I realise my own views are radically bisexual, but for this I make no apology, except in that the term may exclude those that see themselves as intersex in some way.

Other studies have included bisexuals and have apparently shown gradiated transitions between the sexes and sexualities, which don’t corrolate exactly with the results shown above, with gay men closer to straight men than gay women were, hinting that the true pattern is a lot more complex than the recent study suggests.

Ah sweet rose!
How like a butterfly though art!
You came to me unbidden and landed in my palms,
and brought both joy and magic to my heart!

Little butterfly!
My hands you a captive made,
and I felt you flitter and flutter therein.
Such power I had, yours low laid.

Oh but alas!
I can not keep you sweet child!
Your beauty lies in freedom and flight!
So fly free and pretty into the wild!

Little butterflies!
Come and dance with me if you dare,
And if you let me I will trap you too,
And make you mine in my dark lair…

Like 70% of the UK population, I carry the Herpes Simplex Type 1 virus. This occasionally manifests itself with an outbreak of what are known commonly as ‘cold sores’. The name Herpes apparently derives from the Greek root of ‘herpein’ which means ‘to creep’. The word Serpent also comes from the latin root meaning the same thing, so I thought it was quite appropriate to write about it here in this blog.

I felt like writing about what its actually like to have the virus, and to present some things I’ve learned from researching a little about it.

Firstly it is one of eight types of herpes virus to affect humans, one of the others being chicken pox.

Secondly most people infected with it do not know they are because their symptoms are so mild. So in the UK 30% of people are uninfected, 17.5% are infected but don’t know because they have no symptoms, 35% are infected but don’t know because their symptoms are so mild they don’t realise its herpes and that leaves another 17.5% that are infected and know they are. In the US infection rates are higher, but apparently so is the natural immunity rates, as there up to 90% of those infected don’t know they are.

Thirdly, when you get checked for sexually transmitted diseases at family planning centres and such like, they don’t actually test you for herpes, unless you ask for it. This undoubtedly contributes to the large number of people who are infected being under false impression that they are ‘clean’ or ‘free’ of all infections.

Fourthly, every animal species that has been investigated also has some form of herpes virus, including coral apparently! Although herpes is proving fatal to coral in a lot of places where humans have overfished leaving micro organisms free reign over the organic carbon.

Fifthly, the actual symptoms are no big deal. The thing that sucks about it is having to tell people before you kiss them, since if they don’t already have the virus themselves, they will undoubtedly fear it. Even though the chances are they already have it, or have kissed and made love to people that unknowingly have.

Yeah, I’ve experienced that fifth one. It is a difficult one. But I am not alone in speaking. That may seem obvious since it is so common, but I can understand why the majority of sufferers would just prefer to keep quiet about it. Yet other bloggers out there such as Alex Fayle and mojotek have bravely stepped forward and written about their experiences.

So should I take it like Alex and interpret it as my body telling me it doesn’t want to date right now? Maybe. Maybe its saying I should learn to control herpes by reducing the amount of nuts, peanuts and (sob) chocolate in my diet, and eating more cheese before I think about dating again. Apparently that helps! Hmm, chocolate or sex? That’s a tough one…

…but I think I might have to give up chocolate.

On the other hand my hormones are going wild and I seem to be attracting more sexual attention than I ever have before and its driving me wild! Now, what to do with that stash of peanut butter I can no longer eat?